Today has been one of the longest days I've had in a while. Today is the second time Abbie is spending the night with her dad. Luckily it's only one night right now (well, until May then it gets increased. eek!), but it has been much more difficult today than it was last time. The last time I cried this much was months ago. The last time she spent the night with her dad, I shed a tear or two, but managed to go to bed and sleep soundly through the night. We'll see what tonight brings! If there is another post, we'll all know I didn't sleep!
This morning, as I was changing her clothes and diaper, she was standing next to my bed and I told her, "You are going to be spending the day with Daddy today. You will also be spending the night with Daddy. I love you very much and I am going to miss you." She looked at me, then walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me and gave me the biggest hug ever. Yeah, it made my eyes tear up a little, but I had to be strong! It was like she knew exactly what I was saying and understood what was going to happen. She is such a strong little bug! My mom has been telling me since I was pregnant that she is a special spirit to come down and be in the middle of all of this. Little did we know that things were going to be so difficult between her dad and me. (I'll have to post more about what has been going on. The last year has been a nightmare with three court appearances and the silly and completely annoying games her dad is constantly playing)
I have opted not to call and tell her goodnight as I don't want to make it more difficult on any of us. Last time, her dad said she cried all night long. It will be hard enough for her to sleep outside of her own bed without me making it worse. My prayers are with her though. I know the Lord will keep her safe tonight and tomorrow until I pick her up. Only 21 hours left to go!!! Luckily, I will be working tomorrow, so that should keep me a little more distracted! Hopefully this will get easier in time.
I love you, Kristi. I'm sorry you've had such a hard day.
ReplyDeleteI was going to suggest some retail therapy tomorrow, but you had to go and ruin it by working. Pah!
Just wanted to tell ya that the best thing you can do is focus your eyes on God and on what He wants you to do. Let God be the ONLY ONE dtermine how you're going to feel. Honestly I feel tha the enemy is pushing your buttons through your ex to distract you and keep you from truly working on God's purpose in your life. You can't change or control your ex but you can def. devote yourself to following God no matter what your ex does!
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